Mann Chandre Nu: Lyrics and Translation

A song which can give you goosebumps every time you hear it is very difficult to compose and one such great composition of  Mr. A.R. Rahman is "Mann Chandre nu". Although, the verses of the song are short, but the composition of the Rahman Sir is so overwhelming that you get mesmerized in the melody.

Album:  Connections
Singers: Sukhwinder Singh, Shraddha Pandit, Vijay Prakash

Mann (Heart) Chandre (Crazy). Means Crazy heart. A heart which is restless. This song is about the emotions of a lover who is telling that he is not able to find any peace nor satisfaction after falling in love.

The song is in Punjabi Language, but believe me you won't care even if you don't understand a word because this song is all about Music, Music and Music. Here goes its Lyrics:


Mann chandre nu raas na aave, Na aave darwaas!
Crazy heart neither gets satisfaction nor can afford!

Jigar da sauda kyon kar baitha, mukkadi jandi aas!
Why I fell in love, now even the hopes are dying!

Je lutt janda te lutt janda dil, hauke kha k chhup janda!
Once heart is gone, its gone! It hides after crying inside!

Beparwah da ki kehna, Na aave darwaas!
What to say about careless people, there is no relief!

Jigar da sauda kyon kar baitha, mukkadi jandi aas!

Dard sataunda bedardan nu, bedardan da ki janda!
Pain hurts the heartless, they won't feel the pain!

Dard sataunda bedardan nu, bedardan da ki janda!
Bedardan da ki janda!

Mann chandre (repeat)….
Mann chandre(repeat)….

The above line keeps repeating and just start feeling the pain of the person going through it. I think the Album name suits the song perfectly: Connections. This song does depicts the connection of two souls and the pain they go through when they get separated. Don't have anything more to write about such wonderful composition. Just Listen to it. You'll find peace somewhere in it.






God Bless Rahman Sir for this Wonderful peace and Sukhwinder Singh for giving such depth to the song via his singing.

Important Software Testing Interview Questions: Part 2

Q1. In Which phase of software Life Cycle Testing should be done?

Earlier testing was done after the build and execution phases(which is still being followed in many organizations). But the earlier we catch a defect, the more cost effective it is. For instance, fixing a defect in maintenance is ten times more costly than fixing it during execution.Testing should occur in conjunction with each phase. In the requirement phase
we can verify if the requirements are met according to the customer needs. During design we can check whether the design document covers all the requirements. In this stage we can also generate rough functional data.
We can also review the design document from the architecture and the correctness perspectives. A testers biggest strength is in finding the Design Gaps , that's why a Tester should have good domain knowledge.

In the build and execution phase we can execute unit test cases and generate structural and functional data.

And finally in testing phase we run the system test cases and see if the system works according to the requirements. During installation we need to see if the system is compatible with the software. Finally, during the maintenance phase when any fixes are made we can retest the fixes and follow the regression testing.

Q2. Which area has more defects: Design or coding?

The design phase is more error prone than the execution phase.

The best example and the most frequent defects which occur during design is that the product does not cover the complete requirements of the customer. 

Second is wrong or bad architecture and technical decisions make the next phase, execution, more prone to defects. Because the design phase drives the execution phase it’s the most critical phase to test. The testing of the design phase can be done by good review.

On average, 60% of defects occur during design and 40% during the execution phase, because coding will be done on the basis of design only.

Q3. when can we properly start the testing?

Testing can be started properly after getting the proper inputs from the Client or the End user we would require following data:
The first thing we need is the acceptance test plan from the end user. The acceptance test defines the entire test which the product has to pass so that it can go into production.

We also need the requirement document from the customer. In normal scenarios the customer never writes a formal document until he is really sure of his requirements. But at some point the customer should sign saying yes this is what he wants. Never make a test plan without a proper sign off.

The customer should also define the risky sections of the project. The customer is the right person to say which things can really impact its business
With this feedback the testers can prepare a proper test plan for those areas and test it thoroughly. 

The customer should also provide proper data for testing. Feeding proper data during testing is very important. In many scenarios testers key in wrong data and expect results which are of no interest to the customer. 

Q4. What is the difference between latent and masked defects?

A latent defect is an existing defect that has not yet caused a failure because 
the exact set of conditions were never met.

A masked defect is an existing defect that hasn’t yet caused a failure 
just because another defect has prevented that part of the code from being 
executed.

Q5. How Defect removal at different stages impact cost?

If a defect is known at the initial stage then it should be removed during that 
stage/phase itself rather than at some later stage. It’s a recorded fact that 
if a defect is delayed for later phases it proves more costly. 

A defect if identified and removed during the requirement and design phase is the most cost effective, while a defect removed during maintenance is 20 times costlier than during the requirement and design phases.

For instance, if a defect is identified during requirement and design we only need to change the documentation, but if identified during the maintenance phase we not only need to fix the defect, but also change our test plans, do regression testing, and change all documentation. This is why a defect should be identified/removed in earlier phases and the testing department should be involved right from the requirement phase and not after the execution phase. 

Q6. What is a workbench?

A Workbench is a way of documenting how a specific activity has to be performed. A workbench is referred to as phases, steps, and tasks There are five tasks for every workbench:

Projects are not made of one workbench but of many connected workbenches. A workbench gives you a way to perform any kind of task with proper testing. You can visualize every software phase as a workbench with execute and check steps.

Requirement phase workbench: The input is the customer’s requirements; 
we execute the task of writing a requirement document, we check if the 
requirement document addresses all the customer needs, and the output is 
the requirement document.

Design phase workbench: The input is the requirement document, we 
execute the task of preparing a technical document; review/check is done 
to see if the design document is technically correct and addresses all the 
requirements mentioned in the requirement document, and the output is 
the technical document.

Execution phase workbench: This is the actual execution of the project. The 
input is the technical document; the execution is nothing but implementation/
coding according to the technical document, and the output of this phase is 
the implementation/source code.

Testing phase workbench: This is the testing phase of the project. The 
input is the source code which needs to be tested; the execution is executing 
the test case and the output is the test results.

Deployment phase workbench: This is the deployment phase. There are 
two inputs for this phase: one is the source code which needs to be deployed 
and that is dependent on the test results. The output of this project is that 
the customer gets the product which he can now start using.

Maintenance phase workbench: The input to this phase is the deployment 
results, execution is implementing change requests from the end customer, 
the check part is nothing but running regression testing after every change 
request implementation, and the output is a new release after every change 
request execution.


Q6. What is the difference between Alpha and Beta testing?

Alpha testing is the acceptance testing done at the development site. Some organizations have a different visualization of alpha testing. They consider alpha testing as testing which is conducted on early, unstable versions of software.

Where as beta testing is acceptance testing conducted at the customer end. 
In short, the difference between beta testing and alpha testing is the location 
where the tests are done.


Q7. What is defect cascading?

Defect cascading is a defect which is caused by another defect. One defect 
triggers the other defect. 


You Might Like to Read:
Important Software Testing Interview Questions: Part 1

Linux Networking Commands

While working on Operating System like Linux, you should not waste your time by going into GUI and setting or configuring your Network system. Linux is fun only when the power of its commands is realized and believe me, once you get addicted to the commands, you’ll never think of switching to GUI. We’ll see the some of the network commands you can use to set up your networking system properly:


1. arp
Description:
ARP stands for Address Resolution Protocol, which is used to find the MAC address(your device physical address) of a network neighbour for a given IPv4 Address.

Practical Use:
Let’s assume you have a big office and different devices like Printer, IP Phones, Fax Machines etc.. are connected to network. Now each device has a unique hardware address like this 00:03:23:64:B6:32 called MAC Address or Ethernet Address.To connect this device with an IP address so that it can be access from remote we can add an entry using ARP like:
                  arp -s 190.3.2.134 00:03:23:64:B6:32
and after that, run the command
                                    PING 190.3.2.134
Ping Command is used to set the IP address for the hardware. PING command finally assigns the IP address.And we are done. The device is added to the ARP table and has the IP address now. You can access it now in your network.

Problems you might face:
1. You need to have administrator role to run this.
2. IP address might already be in use.
3. Wrong IP address or MAC address are given in command. PING command will confirm it.
4. PING function is not enabled.
5. The network is using DHCP, BOOTP or RARP and network will automatically assign the ip address.


2. dig
Description:
dig (domain information groper) is a tool for interrogating DNS name servers. It performs DNS lookups and displays the answers that are returned from the name server(s) that were queried. DNS administrators use dig to troubleshoot DNS problems. dig command has some sections in the Output it gives, but its main Section is the Answer Section which you should be looking for. For e.g. to display the output with only the answer section you need to type same as shown in the screenshot:
In above screenshot +noall means we don't want any section to be displayed, but since we want the answer section to be displayed, we add +answer. One more advantage of this command is that it can be also used for doing reverse lookups i.e. you give the address in the command and it will give the corresponding name and it can be typed as :
                                     dig –x
There is one more good option call short for viewing just the ip-address of a web site (i.e the A record), use the short form option as shown below in Screenshot:


3. domainname
The domainname command displays or sets the name of the current NIS domain. If you do not specify a parameter, the domainname command displays the name of the current NIS domain. A domain typically encompasses a group of hosts under the same administration. Only the root user can set the name of the domain by giving the domainname command an argument. To enter a new domain name, type:
                            domainname david
The command sets the NIS domain name to david.
To find out the name of the domain your machine belongs to, you just have to type:
                               domainname


4. ethtool
Its a query to control network driver and hardware settings and also used for displaying or modifying the Network Interface Controller (NIC) parameters.

The command is useful for:
§ Identification and diagnostic of Ethernet devices
§ Extended Ethernet devices statistics
§ Control speed, auto-negotiation and flow control for Ethernet devices
§ Control checksum offload and other hardware offload features
§ Control DMA ring sizes and interrupt moderation
§ Control receive queue selection for multiqueue devices
§ Upgrade firmware in flash memory
It is run as shown in the Screenshot:
You can type the Ethernet interface name as there in your case. By default its eth0 and if you have multiple Ethernet interface you can type as eth1 ,eth2 etc.. To know the version of the Ethernet driver you need to type as shown in screenshot below:
You can also use ethtool with -S option to display the bytes transferred, received, errors, etc, as shown below.
                                  ethtool –S etho


5. finger
In Unix, finger is a program you can use to find information about computer users. It usually lists the login name, the full name, and possibly other details about the user you are fingering. These details may include the office location and phone number(if known), login time, idle time, time mail was last read, and the user's plan and project files. Finger may be used to look up users on a remote machine. Format is
                             "user@host"or "@host"

Marriage Humor


Some Marriage Jokes from my Office Mail. Enjoy 

1. Quote on a man’s T-shirt:
All women are devils...
But my wife is QUEEN of them!
  
2. Man was sent on earth to suffer...
Women was sent to make sure it happens!

3. A man asked for poison.
Chemist refused, since it required prescription.
He showed his Marriage Certificate.
Chemist: Oh Man..!! What Size of bottle do you want?

4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
And other is husband!

5. Husband & Wife always compromise.
Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.

6. Husband & wife had a long argument.
Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?

7. A man speaks 25000 words daily,
a woman speaks 30000 words.
Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,
wife starts her quota of 30000 words!

8. Boy: My dad is billionaire & 93-years old.
    He will die soon. Will you marry me?
    Girl: NO.
    A week later she became his step-mother.
    Moral: Don’t give ideas to girls.

9. Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
(1) to plant your idea in someone’s head, &
(2) to plant somebody’s money in your pocket.
* He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE; &
* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!

10. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
     It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...
     Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!

11. No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...
No one teaches a tsunami how to arise…
No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...
No one teaches a man how to choose a wife…
Natural Disasters just happen…!!!

12. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either or money or life...
The wives want both!

13. Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'
Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.

14. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

15. Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

16. Whisky is a brilliant invention…
One double and you start feeling single again.

17. A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.

18. American: In India, do you guys call your wives ‘HONEY’ in your native language?
Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE… they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE…


Important Software Testing Interview Questions: Part 1

While preparing for Interview in Software Testing a good basic knowledge of software Testing fundamentals is always better than complex things because your knowledge about Testing will be reflected through the work you have done and the basics you have followed while doing the Testing. 
Below are some of the important testing questions which you'll find being asked in almost each interview. The interviewer might ask them in a different way but more or less basic things are the same. Lets have a look at some questions:

Q1. Where does Software Testing fits in the software development process?

In normal software development there are four important steps, also referred 
to, in short, as the PDCA (Plan, Do, Check, Act) cycle.


Plan:Define the goal and the plan for achieving that goal.
Do/Execute:Depending on the plan strategy decided during the plan stage we do execution accordingly in this phase.
Check:Check to ensure that we are moving according to plan and are getting the desired results.
Act:During the check cycle, if any issues are there, then we take appropriate action accordingly and revise our plan again.

As you can see clearly that testing fit in the check part of the cycle. So developers and other stakeholders of the project do the “planning and building,” while testers do the check part of the cycle.



Q2. What is the difference between White box, Black box, and Gray Box testing?

Black box testing is a testing strategy based on requirements and 
specifications. Black box testing requires no knowledge of internal paths, 
structures, or implementation of the software being tested.

White box testing is a testing strategy based on internal paths, code 
structures, and implementation of the software being tested. White box testing generally requires detailed programming skills. So in most scenarios white box testing is done by developers as they know the internals of the application like unit test.

Gray box testing is a different type where we just check long enough to understand how the system has been implemented. Then we close up the box and use our knowledge to choose more effective black box tests.


Q3. what is the difference between a defect and a failure?

When a defect reaches the end customer it is called a failure and if the defect 
is detected internally and resolved it’s called a defect.



Q4. Why does the defect occur?

There are three main reasons for occurrence of defects:

The requirements have been implemented incorrectly. This defect 
is a variance from the given specification.

There was a requirement given by the customer and it was not done. 
This is a variance from the specifications, an indication that a specification was not implemented, or a requirement of the customer was not noted properly.

A requirement incorporated into the product that was not given by 
the end customer. This is always a variance from the specification, but may 
be an attribute desired by the user of the product. However, it is considered 
a defect because it’s a variance from the existing requirements.


Q5. what is the difference Between verification and validation?

Verification is a review without actually executing the process while validation 
is checking the product with actual execution. For instance, code review and 
syntax check is verification while actually running the product and checking 
the results is validation.
                                    Or

Verification:  Are we building the product right?
Validation:   Are we building the right product?


Q6. How does testing affect risk?

A risk is a condition that can result in a loss. Risk can only be controlled in 
different scenarios but not eliminated completely. A defect normally converts 
to a risk. For instance, let’s say you are developing an accounting application 
and you have done the wrong tax calculation. There is a huge possibility that 
this will lead to the risk of the company running under loss. But if this defect 
is controlled then we can either remove this risk completely or minimize it. 
The following diagram shows how a risk gets converted to a risk and with 
proper testing how it can be controlled. 


Q7. How can we implement a testing Policy ?


Test Policy describes about the organization definition of testing or its philosophy towards testing. This is generally developed by the top level management(IT Dept. Managers). It contains:

1. Definition of testing
2. The process or procedure or standard we need to follow for good quality 
    product.
3. The quality level to be achieved 
4. Cost to fix the issues

For implementing the Testing Policy an organization needs to understand:

How are they going to achieve their objective? Is there going 
to be a testing committee, will there be compulsory test plans which need to 
be executed, etc.?

After testing is implemented in a project how will they evaluate it? Are they going to derive metrics of defects per phase, per programmer, etc. It’s important to let everyone know how testing has added value to the project?

Finally, what are the standards they want to achieve by testing. For 
instance, we can say that more than 20 defects per KLOC will be considered 
below standard and code review should be done for it. 

You Might Want to Read
Important Software Testing Interview Questions: Part 2


Is Nuclear Energy Green?

While it is true that the nuclear reactors do not emit greenhouse gases in the same amount as coal or oil powered generating stations, but to conclude that nuclear energy is “an environment friendly source of power” is a far stretch. Nuclear reactors do not stand alone; the production of nuclear electricity depends upon a vast and complex infrastructure known as the nuclear fuel cycle. And the fact is, the nuclear fuel cycle utilizes large quantities of fossil fuels during all its stages, as discussed below.

Carbon emission and the ‘Nuclear Fuel Cycle’
Uranium mining and milling are very energy intensive processes. The rock is excavated by bulldozers and shovels and then transported by truck to the milling plant, and all these machines use diesel oil. The ore is ground to powder in electrically powered mills, and fuel is also consumed during conversion of the uranium powder to yellow cake. In fact, mining and milling is so energy intensive that if the concentration of uranium falls to below 0.01%, then the energy required to extract it from this ore becomes greater than the amount of electricity generated by the nuclear reactor; in other words, the nuclear fuel cycle becomes energetically non-productive. And most uranium ores are low grade; the high-grade ores are very limited.

Similarly, the uranium enrichment process is also very energy intensive. For instance, the Paducah enrichment facility in the USA uses the electrical output of two 1,000 MW coal-fired plants for its operation, which emit large quantities of CO2. 

The construction of a nuclear reactor is a very high-tech process, requiring an extensive industrial and economic infrastructure. Constructing the reactor also requires a huge amount of concrete and steel. All this consumes huge quantities of fossil fuel. After the reactor’s life is over, its decommissioning is also a very energetic process.
 
Finally, constructing the highly specialized containers to store the intensely radioactive waste from the nuclear reactor also consumes huge amounts of energy. This waste has to be stored for a period of time which is beyond our comprehension — hundreds of thousands of years! Its energy costs are unknown. 


The above article is taken from the book: Unite to Fight Nuclear Madness
If you want to read the whole book you can download it here

And if you are also against Nuclear Energy or other problems which are effecting our society you can be a part of group name : LOKAYAT

You can check out their website: http://lokayat.org.in for more info.

  

A trip to Purandar Fort

Purandar fort (also called Purandhar fort) पुरंदर किल्ला (in Marathi) figures repeatedly in the rising of Shivaji against the Bijapur kingdom and the Mughals. Purandhar fort stands 4,472 ft. above the sea (1,387 m) in the Western Ghats, 20 miles southeast of Pune. It actually consists of two forts - Purandar and Vajragad (or Rudramal). The latter is the smaller of the two and is on the eastern side of the main fort. The village Purandar takes its name from this fort.








Speechless: Is it Autism ?

Speechless. Hmm. Sounds like having two meanings.

1) You can speak but  you have nothing to Say.
2)  You have unlimited thoughts to say but you can't speak. And i am here to talk about the second one. 

I just attended one Session today called Speechless where we were suppose to be talking only in the Sign Language .i.e. you are not suppose to speak even if you can and you are suppose to be explaining the things to the person your are talking too and he can't speak either. Now for some time it looks fun , that hey, that's easy like Dumb Chards. I can do this. I can convey without speaking. But, as the time progresses, a kind of frustration starts entering and you started feeling helpless and you try to find clues to point to so that the other person can get , what you are talking about. 

Now think about a child, who is born dumb and he don't know how to convey his words to the other person. Can you imagine the kind of frustration he might be going through. Can we understand without him talking , about what he wants to convey ? No No No . Its very difficult to understand and that's what making these children frustrated and sometimes they feel like banging their Heads on the floor or the wall or they start  to torn out the things they can Find. 

I want you to close your eyes and just try to feel this thing. I you can spare some time. I request you to go and talk to someone without speaking and then come back and tell me your experience. I know you won't be pleased. 

 Its not only Dumb people but there are people who are Deaf also can't speak , because you can only speak once you listen others, else you won't understand what exactly is going on. Also there is a disorder of neural development  called Autism where a child is not able to express himself as he/she is too shy to speak and parents get really frustrated as what their child wants to say. What does he want. Why he doesn't talk to us and such children have under developed mind which impact their whole life.

So what we can give to them ? Yes we have sign Language with us to teach them , to help them share their thoughts. My point of Discussion here is that the Government of India has not recognized or Standardized the Sign Language so there are very few places where they teach and very less Teachers or say Trainers who can Teach them the Sign Language. And some bad part is also their that parents are not coming forward with cases that their child is deaf or Dumb and so slowly with time it gets very diffuclt to rectify it.. Also there are few people who believe that sign language should not be taught and they should be given hearing aids and should be given some professional Training. Problem with these kinds os things :

1) Hearing aids amplify all the sounds to equal level and so you cannot differentiate between what you want to listen and what to be ignored. 

2) Also the such kind of Courses are very costly and that too doesn't end here. You need to keep following up as how he is getting accustomed to Hearing Aids.

I want to know from you , 
how the Situation can be Improved  ?
How we can teach all people to learn Sign Language  so everyone can communicate easily?
Can it be made a Compulsory Course in Curriculum ? 
What can we do as a common man to help children with such disorders ?
Can we find such children nearby your places and form some groups so that different parents can discuss about the way they are communicating with their child  ?

What Movies Teach

Got this in my mail box so thought of sharing it....


AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball/baseball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.
5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.
INDIAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry, whichever wire you cut… you “always choose the right one".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
*The most Hilarious*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps...

Punjabi Humour: Reloaded


ਬਾਪੁ "BIKE" ਲੈ ਕੇ ਨਹੀ ਦਿੰਦਾ ...
ਏਸੇ ਲਈ ਇੱਕ ਕੁੜੀ ਫਸਾਈ ਆ ...
ਹੋਰ ਗੱਲਾਂ ਦੀਆਂ ਗੱਲਾਂ ..
......
ਊਦੀ "ACTIVA" ਬੜੀ ਪਜਾਈ ਦੀ ਆ … J




ਨਾਸਾ ਨੇ 3 ਪੰਜਾਬੀਆ ਨੂ ਚੰਨ ਤੇ ਭੇਜਿਆ.......
ਰਾਕਟ ਅੱਧੇ ਰਸਤੇ ਚੋ ਵਾਪਿਸ ਲੇ ਆਏ.
ਪੁਛਣ ਤੇ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਕਹਿੰਦੇ,
"ਅੱਜ ਤਾ ਕੰਜਰੋ ਮੱਸਿਆ ਹੈ, ਚੰਨ ਤਾ ਹੋਣਾ ਈ ਨੀ” J




ਇਕ ਵਾਰੀ ਇਕ ਆਦਮੀ ਖੋਤਾ ਲੈਕੇ ਰੇਲ ਵਿੱਚ ਸ਼ਫਰ ਕਰ ਰਿਹਾ ਸੀ,
ਟੀਟੀ ਨੇ ਕਿਹਾ ਇਸ ਨੂੰ ਥੱਲੇ ਲਾਹ ਪਰ ਉਹ ਨਾ ਮੰਨਿਆਂ
ਟੀਟੀ ਕਹਿੰਦਾ ਚੱਲ ਰੇਲ ਦੇ ਪਿੱਛੇ ਬੰਨ ਦੇ..
ਉਸ ਨੇ ਪਿੱਛੇ ਬੰਨ ਦਿਤਾ.. ਖੋਤਾ ਕਦੇ ਇਧਰ ਵੱਜੇ ਕਦੇ ਉਧਰ ਵੱਜੇ
ਦੂਸਰੇ ਆਦਮੀ ਨੇ ਕਿਹਾ, ਇਸ ਨੇ ਮਰ ਜਾਣਾ
ਉਹ ਕਹਿੰਦਾ ਨਹੀ ਇਹ ਰੇਲ ਤੋ ਪਾਸ ਲੈਣ ਦੀ ਕੋਸ਼ਸ ਕਰਦਾ   J




ਕੁੜੀ -->> ਮੇਰੇ ਯਾਰ ਨੇ ਗਲੀ ਦੇ ਵਿੱਚੋ ਲੰਘਣਾ,,, ਨੀ ਕੁੜੀਓ ਰਾਹ ਛੱਡ ਦਿਓ |
ਜੱਟ  -->> ਸਾਲੀ,,, ਤੇਰਾ ਯਾਰ ਨਾ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ ਕਿਤੇ “ਤੂੜੀ ਆਲਾ ਟਰਾਲਾ” ਹੋਗਿਆ J



ਓ ਕੁੜੀ ਪਿਆਰ ਵਿਚ ਜਾਨ ਮੰਗਦੀ ਸੀ, ਪਰ
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ਪਰ ਅਸੀ ਤਾਂ ਕਿਸੇ ਜਾਵਾਕ ਨੂ ਟੋਫੀ ਦੇ ਕੇ ਵੀ ਨੀ ਰਾਜੀ  J

Punjabi Humour

Believe it or not but Punjabi is one of the most funny language in the world. And if you ever feel like using the most abusive word in your life, Punjabi can be the best medium to deliver it. Punjabi Jokes are in Plenty and so i am sharing some of the best. I thought of translating them first and add it along with the post, but then the whole essence of cracking a Joke in Punjabi would be lost. But if you still want explanation, just leave a comment i'll be happy to explain.

ਐਡੀਟਰ ਪੱਤਰਕਾਰ ਨੂੰ " :- ਜੇ ਤੇਰੀਆ ਕਿਲੋਮੀਟਰ ਲੰਮੀਆ ਖਬਰਾਂ ਛਾਪਣ ਲੱਗ ਗਏ ਤਾ ਕਾਕਾ ਜੀ ਸਤਨਾਮ   ਮਾਣਕ ਦਾ ਪਾਕਿਸਤਾਨੀ ਸਫ਼ਰਨਾਮਾ ਕਿਥੇ ਛਾਪਾਗੇ?ਅਗੇ ਤੋ ਖਬਰਾ ਜੇ ਛਪਵਾਉਣੀਆ ਨੇ ਤਾ ਸੰਖੇਪ ਵਿਚ ਭੇਜਿਆ ਕਰ.”

ਪੱਤਰਕਾਰ ਨੇ ਫਿਰ ਇਕ ਦਿਨ ਖਬਰ ਭੇਜੀ : "ਉਮਰ 45 ਸਾਲ,ਪਿੰਡ ਵਿਰਕ,ਤੀਲ ਬਾਲ ਕੇ ਸਕੂਟਰ ਵਿਚ ਪੇਟ੍ਰੋਲ ਵੇਖਣ  ਲੱਗਾ ਸੀ, ਬਾਕੀ ਸਮਝ ਲਵੋ …..”  J


ਇਕ ਵਾਰ 3 ਬਈਏ ਬਸ ਵਿਚ ਸਫਰ ਕਰ ਰਹੇ ਹੁੰਦੇ ਨੇ..
ਕੰਨਡੱਕਟਰ ਨੇ ਕਿਹਾ, "ਹਾਜੀ ਬਈਆ ਕੀਧਰ ਕੋ ਜਾਨਾ ਹੈ ?"
ਪਹਿਲਾ ਬਈਆ ਬੋਲਿਆ, "amritsar  ਜਾਣਾ ਏ"....
ਤਾ ਪਿਛੇ ਬੈਠਾ 1 ਨਿਹੰਗ ਓਦੇ ਵੱਟ ਕੇ ਚਪੇੜ ਮਾਰਦਾ ਤੇ ਕਹਿਦਾ, 
“ਸਾਲਿਆ ਅੰਮਰਿਤਸਰ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਨੀ ਕਿਹਾ ਜਾਦਾ ? ਸਾਡੇ ਸਿੰਘਾ ਨੇ ਇੱਥੇ ਸ਼ਹੀਦੀ ਪਾਈ ਏ...”
ਕੰਨਡੱਕਟਰ ਦੂਜੇ ਨੂ ਪੁਛਦਾ, "ਹਾਜੀ ਬਈਆ ਤੁਮਨੇ ਕਹਾ ਜਾਨਾ"
ਤਾ ਬਈਆ ਡਰਦਾ ਹੋਇਆ ਕਹਿਦਾ ਹੈ, "ਜਲੰਧਰ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਜਾਨਾ ਏ" 
ਤਾ ਨਿਹੰਗ ਓਹਦੇ ਵੀ 1 ਵੱਟ ਕੇ ਮਾਰਦਾ ਹੋਇਆ ਕਹਿਦਾ ਹੈ,
"ਓਥੇ ਸਾਲਿਆ ਤੇਰਾ ਬੁਢਾ ਸ਼ਹੀਦ ਹੋਇਆ ਹੈ ?"
ਕੰਨਡੱਕਟਰ ਹੁਣ ਤੀਜੇ ਨੂ ਪੁਛਦਾ ਹੈ, "ਹਾਜੀ ਬਈਆ ਕਿਥੇ ਜਾਨਾ ਹੈ"
ਤਾ ਉਹ ਹੋਰ ਵੀ ਡਰਿਆ ਹੋਇਆ ਕਹਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ, "ਯੇ ਲੋ ਪੈਸੇ ਔਰ ਨਿਹੰਗ ਜੀ
ਸੇ ਹੀ ਪੂਛ ਲੋ ਕਹਾ ਜਾਨਾ ਏ, ਮੈ ਇਸਕੇ ਸਾ ਹੀ ਚਲਾ ਜਾਊਗਾ ”  J

ਇਕ ਦਿਨ ਹਾਥੀ & ਕੀੜੀ ਦੋਨੋ A.B.C. ਪੜ ਰਹੇ ਸੀ..
ਕੀੜੀ....... A for ELEPHANT
ਹਾਥੀ .......ਕਮਲੀਏ A for APPLE ਹੁੰਦਾ?
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ਕੀੜੀ ਸ਼ਰਮਾਕੇ .. “ਪੜਦੀ ਆ ਕੁਝ ਹੋਰ ਤੇ ਮੂੰਹ ਚੋ ਨਿਕਲੇ ਤੇਰਾ ਨਾਂ ਲੱਗਦਾ ਇਸ਼ਕ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ.”
J
ਸਰਤਾਜ ਮੋਡੀਫਾਈਡ:

ਅਸੀ ਗਏ ਗੁਰਦੂਆਰੇ ਤੇ ਕੋਲ ਕਾਰ ਸੀ ਓਹਥੇ ਜਾਦਿਆ ਨੂ ਲੰਗਰ ਤਿਆਰ ਸੀ,
ਕੋਈ ਕੋਈ ਸੁਣਦਾ ਬਾਬਿਆ ਦੀ ਗੱਲ ਨੂ  ਕੋਈ ਕੋਈ ਦੇਖਦਾ ਜਾਲੇਬੀਆ ਵਲ ਨੂ,
ਸਰਤਾਜ ਨੇ ਚੁਕ ਜਲੇਬੀ ਲੁਕੋ ਲਈ ਬਾਬਿਆ ਨੇ ਕੁਟ ਕੁਟ ਓਹਥੇ ਹੀ ਖੋ ਲਈ,
ਜਲੇਬੀ ਚੁਕਣ ਨਾਲ ਕਮ ਖਰਾਬ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ ਫੇਰ ਸਰਤਾਜ ਚੁਪ ਚਾਪ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ.. J

Tomato Story: Lesson with Fun

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ..
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan........
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire.. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story



Moral 1

Internet is not the solution to your life..

Moral 2

If you don't have an Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3

If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........

Social Media Manager: Latest Job in the Market

Social Media Manager: Latest Job in the Market
Can you believe that you can get paid while working on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or You Tube etc. You might feel its a joke but you have to trust me on this because growth in social media has caused growth in work-at-home jobs for many people. More businesses today are connected to consumers than at any other time in history.  And that has open an opportunity to new job in the block: Social Media Manager.
What does a Social Media Manager do? 


In simple terms it can be described as someone who manages the social media networking and marketing on behalf of individuals and organisations.


About the Job:


Companies and consumers can interact to resolve complaints or other issues that are important for business relationships. Social media websites like Facebook and Twitter are considered by some to be a blessing and a curse to businesses worldwide due to the ease of information sharing.


It is about communication to and from a service or product provider and customers. Social Media Manager has to find out the needs of the customer through direct communication and have to follow the trend to get more Business. There are multiple platforms available to perform such job like blogging websites, networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, videos sites like Youtube and Online radio blogging and live streaming sites and finally customer reviews and book-marking sites. Options are endless and the best part is it hardly needs any expeirance or investment. 




You just need to understand the business potential and have to work a bit to understand the needs of customer. Some good technical skills can always add to the value and ability to write well about what you are promoting and skill to maintain everything properly because some good businesses fail only due to the reason of not maintaining such platforms regularly.


So Social Media Manager has to keep his Customer updated all the time to have good association and trust. He needs to understand web etiquette and best practice when making posts or submitting articles and videos because as small wrong information can take the whole credibility away.


Responsibilities of Social Media Manager:




A social media manager has a number of roles and can offer a wide range of services like training individuals and organisations or managing the whole thing. Few other roles in his bucket:
  • Helping people to set up a social network package.
  • Explaining the interconnections between various platforms.
  • Creating a routine and schedule for posting
  • Helping to streamline existing routines.
  • Partially or completely managing all of the social media and networking.

Pay Scale:


A Social Media Manager can get paid around 100-200 % per hour.


Jobs Available:


You can check out the various job related to such profiles here:
http://www.simplyhired.com/a/jobs/list/q-social+media+manager


Location:
You can work From Home or other place of your choice.


Finally:


Social Media Manager needs to keep an eye out for any potentially damaging or incorrect information that is being posted by others. A good manager has to gain a proper understanding of the business and should be able to spot opportunities as they arise and connect with the right people. He needs to deliver content, build links, network and translate digital information from the online community. 


Good Luck !!!