How to Select a Manager: Funny Interview

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself. 
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
 

Interviewer: ok, it seems you have taken 6 years to complete
your engineering.  
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

 

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

 
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is   6, good, thanks.
 

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

 
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
 

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

 
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! 
 

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, and English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages ha ha ha...

 

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

 

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

 

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

 

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows ha ha ha.

 

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control', ‘deadlines’, 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

 

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.
1.I should at least get 100,000 in hand.
2.I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3.I believe in flexi-timings.
4.Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5.We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6.I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments.Personally I prefer US, Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in Australia in 2015,I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. You are welcome in to our family. Your current position will be a project manager. We look forward to working with. Thank you.


2 comments:

Baba Yo ! said...

wah sir wash !! Aap to Heera hain Heera :)

Khappi Einstein said...

Thanks a lot dear... :) :) But its an old stuff and got it from my friend.